Jolly Lavi, Blackponytail, and the Flying Komrin
by The Button Harlequin
Summary: A pirates life for Allen or the forever servitude of a fat prince? Three pirates, one goal: claim the servant boy for their crew and themselves. Lots of pirate escapaeds and nutty pirateness.
1. I Kidnapping By Pirate

Being Kidnapped by Pirates Sucks

AN: Hi again, this is rated T for teen because of some British cussing, not British cussing, an eternally PMS-ing Kanda, action, blood, and some gay love that some viewers may find disturbing. There are original characters (OC) and some out of character-ness (OOC). Please don't shoot me for that, I know that some people hate OCs and OOCness, but it just went with the plot and how the D. Gray-man cast play in my imaginary television. I do not, nor will I ever own D. Gray-man or any of its character, no matter how much I cry. I am not, but maybe in my dreams, make money off of doing this. Please enjoy. Oh, forewarning, sorry for any grammer or spelling errors that may occur during the story or its following chapters. I only have notebook, so my options are limited. Now, really, please enjoy the workings of my head.

Prince Albert of the kingdom of Solendria ran with all his might, not caring if his faithful and loyal servant to a fault Allen was keeping up or not. The only thought that was still in his mind kept banging against his skull to do as it was telling him to do. 'Run as fast as you can and don't look back. If you look back now you will be captured by pirates. Let them have the servant boy with the deformed arm, as long as they do not catch you than you will be fine.' This was the thought that kept ringing, gonging, shouting in his head. 'Run away.'

Allen on the other hand, the servant boy with the deformed arm running close behind this selfish prince, had no desire to be captured by the pirates, prince's thoughts or otherwise. Since he was so much more fit than the fat prince Albert, Allen easily kept up with his prince. 'But if it is for the kingdom, than I shall do what must be done,' the servant thought solemnly, his loyalty to his prince blinding him to his own predicament. 'Keep the prince safe and the kingdom will be safe, if only for the moment.'

What he still couldn't wrap his head around though, as he whipped around a corner following the prince, was how in all the bloody blazes the pirates had managed to find them. True, they were at one of the Solendria royal family's summer homes, but the prospect of actually having them show up here was disconcerting to say the least. The bad luck of it all was enough to make the bones in his young body quiver in fear. 'Maybe they didn't have good luck', he suddenly thought, 'maybe it was somebody that ratted us out.' This sent an even worse shiver through his entire body thinking about it.

Allen was suddenly torn out of thoughts by a rough voice shouting, "There they are!" and the heavy cluncking footsteps that followed.

"Run faster my Lord!" Allen urged the prince, giving a little shove in the back.

"Don't touch me, servant boy!" the prince barked automatically before he wheezed in another breath, "I'm running *huff puff* as fast as I can, stupid boy!" Nevertheless, the prince put up one extra boost of speed, suprising Allen the slightest. 'It looks like even the fear of pirates can make a cow run faster,' he couldn't help but think.

The footsteps behind them grew louder and louder until Allen swore he could feel someone's breath on his neck. He paniced, and in a feet of strenghth worthy of Superman, swung the obese prince on his back and ran even faster. That goes to show how fast and strong he was, carrying 230 pounds of dead weight. "How in all the bloody blazes are you able to so this?" Albert shouted in the ear of his servant/savior. The servant shook his head, needing all of his energy to carry the prince and run like the devil himself was at their heels.

"They're getting away!" he heard someone shout behind them.

"Run faster you idiot!" the prince yelled in his ear, kicking him in the sides like he was some kind of horse. Although this DID NOT help, Allen did do as he was commanded, running the fastest he had ever run before. This was how he couldn't stop in time from crashing into the waiting arms of three pirates. He barreled them over, taking himself and the prince along with them.

As Allen tried to squirm out from under an unconcious prince, the three pirates loomed over him, casting shadows of fear on his heart. One was wearing a berret and had flippy hair and looked Chinese, another was younger and closer to Allen's age with firey red hair that was held back by a headband and had an eyepatch. The last one was the meanest looking, about the same age as the red headed one except with long, straight black hair pulled into a tight high ponytail with long bangs, looked Japanese, and had one pissed off looking scowl on his face.

"You look like more trouble than you're worth," the angry looking one growled at him, "But at least your face in pretty enough to put up to market. Even with that scar, but the arm might make it hard to find a good dealer."

"Oh don't be so harsh Kanda!" the one with the berrett chimed cheerfully, "You know as well as I do that I could use another slave to help me with my work. Plus he looks about the same age as Lenalee, so maybe he could keep her company. I'd like to perform some experiments too, that arm might hold something valuable~!"

"You just want him to do your work for you, Komui," the red head with the eyepatch said, "I think I could use him to help me with my documenting, or we could simply keep each other company in the night." Allen's face turned beet red, either with the lack of oxygen to his lungs or that knowing wink and smirk. Most likely a mixture of both, since he was about ready to pass out.

"Either way Lavi, you had better give him over to me, since he looks strong enough to sell," the one called Kanda said in a warning kind of voice, like there would be Hell to pay if he didn't give Allen over to him. 'You just want me for the nights too,' Allen thought with instant dislike of the pirate.

"Maybe, but I still want him for myself," the one called Lavi said, "He has such pretty white hair, I want to see more or him." In Allen's opinion, he didn't like this pirate either. He just wanted to use him for bad things. Allen was a lot of things, and he was proud to be still called a virgin. That would most likely change though, if he were to go with the eyepatch.

"But I want him because I think that Lenalee needs a new friend. And I don't wanna do all that work~," Komui whined. 'What a childish man,' Allen thought, the blurriness of his vision taking him on all sides. He heard the pirate's voice in the back of his mind, and felt the three sets of eyes on him as Komui said, "Well, none of us can have him if we let him suffocate beneathe this fatty. Let's get him off him."

The last thought Allen had before he let the darkness take him was, 'Being kidnapped by pirates...that sucks.' 


	2. II Aboard the Jolly Lavi isn't so Jolly

Aboard the Jolly Lavi

Allen woke up with a pounding headache, and the feeling that stomach was about to jump out and run away over whelmed him. 'Oh, my poor head,' he moaned inwardly. He cracked open his eyes just the slightest to get to know his suroundings, and then they nearly popped out of his head. "My Lord!" he cried, and rushed over to the unconciouse fat prince. The obese royal just moaned something about not having any meetings today and rolled over on his side, loudly snoring peacfully, unintentionally comforting his servant. 'At least he sounds OK,' Allen thought with a sigh, and took the moment to look at the place they were currently occupieing(sp?) and wondering where in the bloody blazes they were.

By the constant gentle rocking, he concluded that they were in the hull of a ship, full of crates, barrels, and other assorted items. But what struck his intrest the most was the fact that there were bundles upon bundles of rope. Why weren't they both tied up?

Allen was torn from his thoughts by the sound of heavy clumping boots. "Hey, you're finally awake!" he turned and saw that one of the odd pirates from before (he thought his name was Lavi) lean up against a crate, his visible eye noticeably black, "That's good to know, we were getting worried that you might have been sent into a coma because of the lack of oxygen. That fat ass of your prince took four men plus us to drag him off you. You looked so blue, you turned the color Krory gets when the crew and I get drunk and start talking dirty. I'm glad that you're OK though. Oh, I forgot, where are my manners? My name is Lavi and you are currently aboard my ship The Jolly Lavi."

"You're one of the pirates that attacked the castle," the recently awakened servant interjected, "and you kidnapped my prince and I!"

"I was hoping that you had forgotten that, but I guess my luck's not that good," the flaming haired man said sheepishly, rubbing the back of his neck," You see, we've been- the other pirates and my own crew that is- well, we've been staking out the place for months, waiting for the chance when one of the royals would be back and then maybe hold them for ransom, keeping the shares 33% each and then giving the one percent to the church. It sounded fair and I couldn't care less about the treasure."

"Then why did you come and attack us in the first place?" Allen asked angerily.

"Because it looked like fun~!" Lavi sang, his grin threatening to split his face, "My crew and I are already rich beyond belief, we just keep on pirating to relieve the boredum. And ,of course, to keep recording every adventure that those slippery dogs get into."

"Recording slippery dogs?" the image of soapy dogs sliding on a floor popped into Allen's mind. What would be there to record? 'The dalmation slid into the wall, the labrador barked at the fleas invading its personal space, the shivering chihuahua was trying to mount the uncaring bulldog.' That indeed would be rather unusual to record.

"No no, you got it wrong. When I say 'slippery dogs' I'm talking about Komui and Kanda, you've sort of met them."

"Oh, Them," Allen spat the word out like a foul curse, "the lazy scientist and the slave seller," he suddenly sharpened his gaze onto the pirate, "and the pervert."

"Hey, hey! I'm no common pervert!" the pirate captain denied hastily, "I'm the kind of Casanova that steals your heart and then manipulates you to do whatever I want and you like it. I'm that kind of man."

"And that makes you any better?" the servant glared daggers. He hated his sort, the maninpulators. They reminded him of his previous master, Cross Marian.

"It makes him smarter at least," a familiar voice next to Allen said groggily. Allen smiled happily as Prince Albert sat up slowly, his weight around his middle making this task a little difficult.

"Ah, you must be the royal in charge of this cute little snow head," Lavi stood up straight and off the crate and crossed his arms over his chest, "I'm the captain of this fine ship The Jolly Lavi. I am Lavi."

Prince Albert picked himself slowly off the floor and stood with as much dignity his green faced self could manage. "I am Prince Albert Rufus Greiger Philipus Beovin Mozger Solendria the VII, Prince and crown heir to the throne of Solendria. I demand that you give me decent accommadations, food and wine, and cot for my servant in wherever you can fit him while on our way to the capital where you will then drop me off."

Lavi was silent for a moment. The Prince thought that he was thinking over the plans of which room to give him, while his servant thought that the pirate might be thinking 'screw the ransom money, I'll just get rid of him right here,' and stood beside his prince protectively to prevent this from happening. In actuallity, Lavi was trying his hardest not to laugh, and dipped his head in his scarf to hide his smirking face. The prince thought that he ruled this pirate captain? He thought wrong.

"Well excuse my rudeness, Your Highness," the eyepatch wearing pirate said with a mock bow, "But I'm afraid that all of our solid gold rooms and people who give a damn are currently unavailable. If you want five-star service, go to the Ritz. But on The Jolly Lavi, you get the what you work for."

"Work how?" the prince said through seasick squinted eyes, distrustful and rightfully so.

"Oh you know, the usuall: rigging the lines, cooking, crow's nest watching-"

"Commoner's work?" Prince Albert said aghast, with a dramatic paling comming over his green face, "For the crown prince of Solendria? Don't be stupid!"

Lavi shrugged unconsequentily. "No work, no perks. That's the rule on this ship, unless of course you're sick or paying, both of which you aren't. And don't say you can pay when we get to your castle. I'd be arrested there and then I would have given you a free ride, which isn't fair to me or my hard working crew."

"What isn't fair is your kidnapping of the most important family member of the Royal Family of Solendria besides the king and queen themselves!" the prince shouted furiously, his extra chins bobbing along to his words perfectly. "This is beyond and outrage, you insolent- hurk!" The crown prince doubled over and hurled all over Lavi's shoes, like he was aiming specifically for them. Lavi grimaced in disgust and Allen checked to see the health of his prince.

"I'm fine you idiot!" the prince shouted, shoving his servant away harshly, making Allen stumble back into several crates.

"You puked all over my shoes!" Lavi shrieked horrified, "EEWW THAT IS SO GROSS!" He ran out of the hull shouting about something like how they weren't going to have any company for the rest of the night and that work started tomorrow, and that Allen would look really cute without his shirt on. Allen thought of the health for his gasping prince instead of the comment and carefully approached him.

"My Prince? Are you feeling better? My Prince?" The servant heard his prince mumble something, and leaned in as closely as was respectable. "My Prince?"

"Take off your shirt," the prince growled a second time, his blonde hair hiding his eyes as he pulled a whip from his belt, skillfuly hidden onto his belt. Without a word, his ever loyal servant soundlessly removed his thin jacket and shirt, a depressed and unwavering straight face. "Turn around," the prince ordered, and without hesitation Allen turned his back to his prince. His pale back had dozens of zipping thin scars, the proof of this repeated treatment. With a quick shake of his snowy white locks, Allen braced himself against the nearest wall.

With a loud crack of his whip, the prince brought it down on his loyal servant's back, uncaring and full of hatred. "How dare he treat me like this!" he roared, and snapped the whip again over Allen's back, "How dare he make me do commoner's work!" CRACK! "How dare he act like he was from a higher station!" CRACK! "How dare he defy his prince!" CRACK! CRACK! CRACK! "How dare he try to take you away from me!" The prince continued to rant on like this, cracking his vicious whip down onto his loyal servant's hardworking back. Allen didn't care, he took his treatment without a complaint, not even a sound. If it helped his prince to release his anger, then Allen would endure for the whole night if he had too. It was for the good of his prince.

After nearly an hour of this, from ranting and whipping to just whipping, Prince Albert put the whip back onto his belt while panting from the over exertion of having to whip his servant. It wasn't his fault of course, it was that stupid pirate captain who made him do it. He watched with uncaring, glazed over, animalistic eyes as his servant slumped against the wall he was using for surpport, gasping for air as the pain threatened to take his breath away. He approached his pretty servant boy, examining the new marks on his skin along with the old ones, the blood oozing onto his finger tips, the smell of sweat issuing from the pores. He heard the servant boy gasp in pain as he ran his hands over the boy's back, making fresh blood cling to his palms and grip to his fingers. He slowly licked his hand clean of the blood, letting a quiet sigh escape his satisfied lips at the taste of the metallic saltiness.

Allen turned his sweating head slightly to look at his prince, the animal look in his eyes unmistakealble. He held in a screaming of pain as he felt something hot and wet and sandpapery slide up his open wounds one by one. He pressed his chest into the wall for its cold comfort, resisting the urge to shout and uell at the pain of his prince's tounge lick his blood and sweat away, his thick arms wrapping around Allen's slim waist.

"You are mine Allen Walker," his prince declared, pressing his fleshy chest to Allen's bloody back, at some point opening up his own shirt, "And I own your very existence. You are never to go to anyone but me, and you belong to no one but me. Understand, servant boy Allen Walker?" Allen tried his hardest to prevent his shudder from taking over his body, the feeling of revulsion coursing through his veins. He hated this part of the whipping ritual, but if if made his prince happy than that was all that mattered.

"I understand, my Prince," Allen said with a quiet pant, and turned his head to face his prince, knowing he would never go against the word of his prince, "I will stay with you for as long as you want me."

The prince smiled smugly, "That's what I like to hear." He turned his servant to face him, and looked carefully upon his rather beautiful white haired servant boy, whose deformed blood red arm didn't even deterr from. He crashed his lips against his servant's making sure he got what he wanted and forcing the boy into even more submission than before.

He didn't tear himself away from his hungry kiss until he had the need to come up for air, searching his servant's face fro any sign of betrayl. But Allen, loyal as he was to his prince, would never do any such thing. They stayed like that for a while, until his prince was finally satisfied. He picked himself away from Allen's person, and began to redo his clothes, Allen doing the same thing. "Don't become close to anyone aboard this ship," his prince ordered without looking in the direction of his servant, "And especially don't become close to that flaming headed, eyepatch wearing, idiot of a captain. Do you understand, servant boy?"

"Yes, my prince," Allen answered without hesitation, earning him an approving grunt from his prince. After he was dressed, Allen constructed a makeshift bed from the extra sails lying around in the hull for the prince.

Without a thank you, Prince Albert slithered under the 'covers' and quickly fell asleep. Having used almost all the sails for his prince, Allen took the last, very shredded looking, sail and used it as a weak bar against the cold night air. With his back stinging and aching, he fell into a fitful sleep.

A/N: So yeah, the usual disclaimer. I don't own anything but the plot yada yada yada and all that jazz. I'm sorry if this chapter seemed really angsty to anyone, because it was, but I mean to say sorry over the angst since no one was expecting it I think. Um, so I think that Allen has really not said a lot these past two chapters, and I hope to rectify that next chapter. Um, review if you want to, but don't if it goes out of your way. I appreciate flames since I've never had one before, so I will respect your opinions and possibly take the story in the direction you're hoping for if you tell me. As much as I'd love to, I can't read minds. Please have happy writing days~! ^w^ 


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